Do you realize how different it feels to meet people with trust vs. distrust? Many of us have been brought up with exhortations of how to watch out and be careful about whom and what we should trust. Most of us need good reasons to trust other people and we only let our guards down when people stop giving us reasons to keep them up.
At times when we were disappointed or hurt, we decided that it was yet another example of what or who not to trust. In reality no relationship can in the long run avoid having displeasing episodes, and if all these incidents cause distrust then you will eventually have no relationships build on trust. Still trust is only something we believe in when we see it, which in fact means we start from a point of distrust.
What happens when you come from a place of distrust? You are more reluctant, less vulnerable, less creative and in general just less relaxed and open. From this place it is very hard to build relationships and create something extraordinary. Also, you only have access to a very limited amount of your own resources.
But what if it is the other way around: when you believe that trust is present you will start experiencing it more? Then trust is a decision you make and a way of approaching the world. Trusting will set your own resources free and make you listen faster and deeper to the people and situations you encounter along the way.
When you decide to make trust your primary approach to the world, you will open up. It will make you more vulnerable and even though you will still meet people that are not trustworthy, this will be greatly outweighed by the things you can accomplish by trusting in general. When you start with trust, you will be amazed how that call out the trustworthiness in most people and you will in general experience more trust.
Of course you will still have to keep your boundaries using the knowledge of what really matters to you and how you would like things to be. Trusting doesn’t mean that you will ignore your own needs. (see link for ways to find out more about what matters to you).
How to start making trust your decision
- Perform small experiments – What happens if I approach things with trust? Find low-risk situations and/or relationships that will help you practice and find a way with trust that works for you.
- Are there any particularly distrustful relationships that you would like to transform? Make a decision to choose trust and observe the difference.
- Expand your decision about meeting the world with trust.
Enjoy the process of being set free by trust
