Where do you turn when things get tough?

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You are losing sight of the big picture and you don’t know where to turn. Most of us know the feeling, and when we reach this point we desperately look around to find tools or people than can help us out. This is what we do… we look outwards for help. But what if the best place to look for help is inwards?

When we look outwards, we at best get tips and tricks and good advice that will give temporary relief from the symptoms. It is of course valuable to get input and make an effort to examine a situation, but often we get even more confused.

Also, the input we get will be based on other people’s value systems which might differ from your own (See more about personal values here). Thus when it gets really tough the best place to find the answers will ultimately be with yourself.

In our fast and extroverted culture, the strength and safety that can be achieved by turning inwards is underestimated. We are constantly surrounded by people or stimuli, whether physically or via social media. Also, we fill our days with activities and chores that rarely leave a quiet moment for ourselves.

Most of us don’t even know what it is like to be alone with ourselves. In fact, being alone with yourself takes a lot of courage, because this is where you can truthfully feel and realize what is going on in your life and career.


In order to know more about how to turn inwards you need to start practicing being alone without stimuli. This is the first step and in time you will be able to find your own way of turning inwards when things get tough.

Here is what to do:

  1. Start by introducing small time-outs every day – Initially one time a day is fine. You only need to take a few minutes. I will warmly recommend an exercise from Heart math (See link). It can become a valuable tool during stressful times.
  1. Take 10-20 minutes every day where you do nothing but be with yourself. No reading, no phone, no watching TV or your computer. You can simply sit, or if it resonates with you, you can meditate. There are numerous traditions, but a very easy version is to simply focus on the area around your heart or your breathing and then close your eyes and sit still.
  1. Plan to spend time alone – not only doing things by yourself, but simply being alone. For example, take a weekend alone and maybe even a vacation.


When you practice these things you get to know the place you turn to when you turn inwards.


Good luck with taking time out to finding your way to turning inwards.


Skærmbillede 2014-08-01 kl. 13.07.17