“I just want to be seen. Not famous or noticed, just seen for the person I am.” These were the words of a man in my coaching room the other day. He was trying to find possible ways forward in solving a challenge, when he suddenly became quiet… After a long pause he looked up at me and said the words.
I sensed the truth and the longing. No drama, just transparency and honesty. I meet this with most of the people whose journey I join. But after hearing him word it so clearly, a curiosity began to grow. If being seen is such a desire for most of us, when and why did we stop seeing each other? And I mean really seeing each other – taking the time to be present, looking each other in the eyes, and really listening to what is being said, as well as what is not being said.
Maybe you recognize this feeling: your life is moving so fast that people are passing in and out of it, almost without you even noticing. You might also know the same longing for just being seen.
The most obvious thing to do is to start practicing it yourself by slowing down with an intention to really see the people that you meet along your way. You should give out what you would like to meet yourself.
Just as important though is to start seeing yourself.
Until you take time out to really see and hear your own needs and dreams, no one else will be able to see you for the person you truly are.
What to do:
- Choose a few people in your life, and start taking the time to really see and listen to them (Be realistic – not too many to begin with)
- Start noticing your own needs in your daily life. Not things that grant instant gratification or that are just nice to have, but things that you really need to have. Ask yourself what you really need right now, and maybe even start communicating those needs. However, noticing is the first step.
- Be curious about what is really important to you and start honoring it (See link for finding out what is most important to you)
I hope you will be one more person that stops to see the people in your life, because they too most likely are longing to be seen.