If I just had the money, I would….

“If I just had the money, I would…” is a sentence I hear very often in my practice. It is clear that although there is much talk and debate about creating meaning, many still have some of their most important goals centered around money, and on top of that have a longing to become financially independent.

Somehow, we have come to believe that freedom of choice and freedom in life is only guaranteed when you have enough money. We live in a society where money has become the most important resource – a thing we all strive for even though it rarely gives us what we are told it will.

Some years ago, I was sitting in on a workshop for wealthy people where the topic was their relationship with money. It became clear that even though they might be able to buy whatever they wanted it did certainly not give them a sense of freedom or a guarantee of living their dream.

So, even when you have all the money you dreamed of it does not necessarily result in a feeling of freedom. And on top of that few people become truly financially independent over the course of their lifetime, which means that the majority are forced to give up on their most profound dreams and longings.

So, if becoming financially independent is no guarantee for living your dream and/or feeling free – what is?

For starters we have turned it upside down. Money is a resource that will make it possible to do things, but it can never be the primary goal.

First of all, finances and money are for the vast majority associated with anxiety: Is there enough and/or will I make ends meet? Very rarely do I meet any positive sentiments around this regardless of how fortunate the person is.  Which in turn means that if your primary goal is about money you will fill your life with a lot of anxiety and possibly even fear.

Many have claimed that you have to get to a certain level of economic wealth before you can have the luxury of thinking differently about money. But having travelled the world I have first-hand experienced how freedom and happiness are not directly correlated with money. The mindsets are just as important.

Even if this is not the whole truth maybe it is worth it to experiment with changing your approach to money, and to stop waiting for enough money to do what you really want to do. You need to start implementing a tiny little bit of what you really want and dream about every day. You need to insist on experiencing freedom and joy before you are retired.

This is a private process where you regain space in your daily life. Just small steps that will make you feel a tiny bit closer to your dreams every day will turn the negative spiral into a positive one.  Not only will it feel better for you, but your energy and your “market value” increases in a way that results in better relationships, salary raises and unheard-of job opportunities. I have seen many cases where this shift in your own focus will actually mean a greater inflow of money and opportunities.


How to let go of waiting for financial independence:

  1. Write down the dreams that you have that you think are not possible without the right amount of money…
  2. Find out what it is that this dream will make possible and, in that way, get insight into what really matters to you (look here for further inspiration on the process).
  3. Find small ways to get a tiny bit more of what you dream about every day. Start the morning with this task every day. Soon you will experience that you don’t have to wait for enough money or more time to do more of what you want.