For way too many people the self-development movement has turned into a race to fix ourselves. At what point did it become a truth that you need fixing and that you are not good enough as you are?
In fact it is the other way around. You are perfect exactly as you are and most of the problems we create for ourselves and each other start by getting way too far away from who we really are and from living a life being the best version of just that.
Self-development is not about fixing until you have no flaws. Self-development is a continuous process of discovering what matters to you and how you can center your life around that. It is about being set free to be exactly who you are and being as true as possible to that every day of your life, whether at home, at work, or out in the world. Instead of fixing we need to integrate all the small, weird and crazy things that we have a hard time being proud of, or the stories from our past that have dragged us down. These things will not and should not go away, but if you invite them in as a part of your life, your life will become simpler and easier and you will get closer to integration. And integration is what you want!
Next time you pursue some personal development, I encourage you to view it as a journey towards getting to know all parts of you, both the pretty sides and the darker ones.
This is the way you will find out what truly matters to you just as you are. It will bring peace of mind, because you will see that there is nothing wrong with you that needs fixing. The only self-development that will set you free is the kind where you learn to accept yourself as you are and that all your power and resources are innate; you just need to unfold them.
Although it might sound like approaching self-development in this way could make you rigid in a way where you want your way or no way, it is actually quite the contrary. When you invite yourself to be fully discovered, you become more calm, energized, caring and fun.
Thus let go of the stress of not knowing all the newest tools and following the newest trends. If you are curious about self-development you need to engage in a discovery of you as you are and what truly matters to you, (Link) and then start focusing your career and life on that.
If you are curious about starting this journey you can follow the steps described in following blogs:
1. Find out what really matters to you (Link)
2. Create your personal vision (Link)
3. Start finding small ways and opportunities right where you are to incorporate these things in your life and career.
Good luck with replacing the fixing with unfolding