The illusion of control

So often people say… “I just need to get this under control” or “I already have this under control.” For many of us this is the goal: Once we have gained control, we have succeeded, and maybe we even have a good life. But how can this be a goal when the only thing that… Read more »

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Are you beating yourself up?

Now, look back at a time where you had a conflict, or you made a mistake that left you pondering about how on earth you could have acted the way you did. Did you beat yourself up? I certainly know the feeling and the blame game that starts in my head. Was it my fault, could… Read more »

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Have you become a self-improvement project?

How can I make myself more effective? How can I optimize the way I work? Is there something that I can adjust that will make me a better leader? These are questions that fill many people’s minds, and when I suggest that there might not be a demand for dramatic improvement, I am met with… Read more »

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In search of questions. NOT answers

Most of the time we are looking for answers: What is the solution? What should I do? How can I get there? And it has to be fast! It is all well and good if we know the answers, yet often not so welcome when we open to doubt and further questioning. Sometimes we even… Read more »

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Do NOT Disturb

Soon many of us will leave on summer vacation. We have great plans with family and friends but before we know it, we have checked both emails and answered phone calls. I have many people in my practice that claim that this is not a problem, but being back in the performance/job loop will not… Read more »

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LOOK OUT – for potential

Look out! –  for potential… We are so quick to judge each other. We’re always keeping an eye on the things that others are doing wrong, or even worse, ways in which there must be something wrong with them. Many of us don’t even notice that this can be the lens through which we see… Read more »

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The END of fixing negativity

You are on a roll – in a good flow and suddenly you are thrown off your feet. Your leader, colleague, spouse or maybe even friend sends their negativity your way, and even if what they are sharing has nothing to do with you, you are affected. What to do? Many of us have an… Read more »

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Unstuck with acceptance

Somebody just failed to meet your expectations. Again… How hard can it be? Why are they hurting me? Why don’t they do what is obviously right… And on top of that it is probably not the first time this has happened. Often this results in a myriad of complaining in our own minds and we… Read more »

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Living Out Loud

Recently Michelle Obama did her last White House interview with Oprah Winfrey and amongst other things she described how she believes in “living out loud”. Showing her values by living them, not explaining or defending them. What a great reminder this is about the responsibility I and each one of us have.   Living out… Read more »

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STOP pushing for better performance

Why do we think we have to push each other to achieve great results? We know that people work best if they feel inspired and energized but regardless of this, we often control, follow up and put pressure on people in order to make sure that they meet their goals. And even worse – if… Read more »

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